wherestraci

No one told me that 4am feedings begin before the baby is born.

I was lying there, just barely awake. It’s the sort of awake-ness when you know you’ve ended your first sleep cycle for the night but unfortunately haven’t begun your next one yet. Just enough awake that you dread looking at the clock but at the same time you want to look so you can confirm you get to sleep a little (or a lot) longer. This is a pretty common occurrence for me, even before pregnancy. I wake up at night. I take after my dad. Thanks a lot, Dad. Actually, I like the night, when all is quiet and everyone else is preoccupied. It’s peaceful.

But this is a whole new ballgame. Here’s the progression: I wake up but try to pretend I’m not awake. I try to persuade myself to go back to sleep before I’m too awake to sleep. I roll over, stilling trying to coax myself into my next sleep cycle. I give in and look at the clock. 3:17am. Lovely. I turn on a booklight and read Sherlock Holmes on the Kindle in an effort to make my eyes glaze over. — So far, this is normal. — And then, I feel it. A distant beckoning call for food. I try to ignore it and bury my face in my favorite pillow. I roll over. I roll over again. It’s not going away. In fact, it’s getting stronger. I look at the clock. 4:02am. At last, I give in. I get up and get a bowl of cereal, turning on as few lights as possible. One thing I know for sure, even when I’m sleepy, is if I wake up, I’m up. So I slurp cereal in my state of semi-sleep and relocate to the recliner in the living room with my favorite pillow. I once again turn on my book light and venture out into England with Holmes to solve some mystery until I fall back asleep. Baby’s happy. I’m happy.

So all I can figure is that this is supposed to help me get prepared for my Adelyn’s debut. That’s what this nine months is for, right? It’s actually pretty gentle if you think about it. I slowly wake up and realize my belly — not me — is hungry. (Such a strange feeling, btw.) If Hollywood and my friends are correct, the siren for food will be a lot louder when she’s outside the womb. On those days, I’ll probably be wishing for these.